#yeagh i cant draw right now something feels weird with my art brain

[lemonfairy-yearns]

BrnPrThnkr LOGs: 22-30 BCFB LOGs: 70-77

an intersected real time compilation. each employee wrote these logs themselves and are marked with an emoji. which is which should be evident.

🧠: He looked at me with those big sad eyes again. He wasn't trying to get anything from me. It looked more like pity. I can't stand it. He shouldn't pity me. I am the best there is. I am the smartest. I'm …. Good.

🐰: I saw him again today. I bet if I'm careful no one will see me go into the schoolhouse basement. I just have to time it right. If anyone asks, that's just where a book I like is kept. Cog, if he only knew. I mean, I told him… but I don't think he believes me. I don't blame him. If he came into my house and brought a bunch of friends to beat me up I wouldn't like him much either. Maybe I should just give up. It's not like there aren't other people who'd love me more. Love. What a Freakish word for it. I don't have a better one.

🧠: why can't I just tell him to stop coming back here? If I didn't see him so often my judgement wouldn't be so clouded so frequently. He'll give up soon I suppose. Everyone else has. It's a matter of time. I can wait out his foolishness.

🐰: I need to stop shaking. Everyone already thinks something is wrong with me… why is loving others so scary? Why can't I just go back to before I cared about everything???     That's miserable.. I'm not doing that. I should just go grab a book. I don't have to stay and visit, I'll just go get it from the schoolhouse. He won't even see me.

🧠: he came down for that entomology book. I found it for him and he… didn't linger like usual. If he comes back I'm going to tell him where to buy a copy. No. I'll give him one. No, that's weird. Avoiding it is weird. Everything I can do in this situation is too weird. I can't just not talk, that's impossible. He didn't say goodbye. That's weird. He's weird. Why do I mi…… no not going to say that…. I'll get back to this later.

🐰: Mildew taught me how to steer the ship today. It's harder than it looks. Rhubarb said I did a good job. Then they joked about boatfulls of Bagholders. I wonder if they’d still run them into the shoreline if they knew his name was Rodger and his favorite food is SteelBerry Pancakes. But maybe I wouldn't actually care because he's a jerk who revels in making little toons cry and also cheats at Rummy. I need to go look up some definitions for words. 

🧠: I'm going to call him. I just… won't freak out if he doesn't answer. He might be busy. He might not want to. Nope, not calling actually, strike that. I should do something. I feel myself boiling over. I think stranger, less rational things. Like if I was in trouble, would he come save me? And if he did, would it just be part of his usual work of keeping his coworkers in working condition? It probably would. He's a good person, he'd do it for any of us. I can't keep spending my time dreaming nonsensical things like this.

🐰: I was asked to look through some recent disciplinary files. I should visit Brian. I'll bring something. And not just the book I have to return. 

🧠: He CALLED TO SAY HE'S ON HIS WAY HES NEVER WARNED ME BEFORE!!! WHAT IS HIS ANGLE!!!! AHHH I DONT HAVE THE BOOK YET!!!!

🐰: I bet he'd like sugar water… No, that's dumb. Stupid Bex… I'll just grab some… nothing coming to me. Stuuupid…

🧠: I can't track him but I found a bug book he hasn't quizzed me on yet, that'll have to do. He can keep this one. I don't care what that moron Pete says.

🐰: He’ll probably hate it. I don't know. I just think he can do cool stuff with it if he wants. He's good with delicate materials like this. Ok someone's asking for help Fighting him. I don't think I can do this. Ok I'm going in with them. They're strangers, maybe it'll be less weird.

🧠: he's behind a group of other toons. Of course he was planning an attack. I'll show them.

🐰: everyone else is greened. But the desk jockeys stopped attacking. Maybe I can explain.

🧠: why is he crying. Don't do that. Don't do that don't do that don't do that don't do that- the following is a conversation recorded by my staff, desk jockeys 3, 4, and 5. if this leaks, no it didn't.

[BFCB] Im sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I don't want to fight I didn't mean to bring them here-

[BrnPrThnkr] why DID you come here then?

[BFCB] I just wanted to give you something nice because I was reading records today and I don't know I just wanted you to have a nice thing because people keep taking away your things and it's not fair and I couldn't bear it but maybeyoucanandIlooklikeI'mbeingcondescending but Idon'tmeanto and I want to be nice even though that makes me stupid like a real toon and-

[BrnPrThnkr] ok. Slow down…. please. Look at me. What did you read about me?

[BFCB] you only have 2 infractions. They were projects you didn't get to finish. They took them away before you could refine them. It's not fair.

[BrnPrThnkr] so you… know. About. Buck.

[BFCB] they won't let you fix him. Which sucks because he won't let me fix him. He misses you. He won't say it, but I think he'd let someone repair his head if the someone was you. I don't count. I'm not permanent like a cog. Or real like a toon. I can't even be a good repairman. I'm not anything.

[BrnPrThnkr] you're everything.

[BFCB] ….. I …what…

[BrnPrThnkr] UHHH I didn't mean to say that!!! Ignore that !!!

[BFCB] oh. sorry….

[BrnPrThnkr] WAIT- … I JUST. Ne-e-eed to get my w-rds right. I'm not done. Don-n't…

[BFCB] I still need... to give you this.

[BrnPrThnkr] …. Origami paper. How did yo-ou know I needed th-s?

[BFCB] I just thought because you're good with your hands.. you could make something. Something no one could take away…

[BrnPrThnkr] you meant i-it didn't you. When you said you … l-ved me-e….. I-I'm so-o-rry I don't usu-lly cut o-t like thi-is.

[BFCB] I did mean it. I do. I don't know if it was fair. Just leaving you with it sounding like a joke. It's stressing you out isn't it? 

[BrnPrThnkr] no-o-o it's f-ne I just need to get my-elf in or-r-rder. One mom-nt

[RECALIBRATING]

about 9 seconds pass.

[RECALIBRATED]

[BrnPrThnkr] see? Good as new. And look. 

[BFCB] an arachnid book!

[BrnPrThnkr] I was ready for you to come over. I… don't mind having you here … sometimes. I know your work has you here as one of them. It's annoying, but I don't judge you for it because it's not your fault. When it's just …. Us …it's. Not bad. Pleasant, even. 

[BFCB] you're too wonderful, you know that?

[BrnPrThnkr] no, I think I'm just the right amount wonderful actually. 

[BFCB] so you'll believe me now? That I love you?

[BrnPrThnkr] how do you say that so easily? It doesn't gunk up your circuits at all.

[BFCB] it's easy because I mean it.